


that broken piece

by castiel



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: 2.12 coda, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, and a little self-indulgent, not quite a fix it fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 14:12:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11186793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castiel/pseuds/castiel
Summary: ``...shadowhunters and the damage and chaos that they leave in their wake. Magnus had almost forgotten.``





	that broken piece

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written fic in probably ten years, but I am hurting after that episode. I wanted more out of that last scene with Magnus and Alec, and while this isn't necessarily a fix-it fic (Magnus's trauma can't be fixed that easily), I needed something more from my favorite Shadowhunters couple. Title from The Other Side by Ruelle.

The apartment is quiet after. Even the cats have hidden away somewhere. There’s only the clinking of glass shards dropping into a bucket as Alec cleans up the mess; shadowhunters and the damage and chaos that they leave in their wake. Magnus had almost forgotten. 

He slips silently passed Alexander, eyes focused on his wrist as he finally drops onto the couch, exhaustion and ache in every inch of his body. The agony rune isn’t there, only smooth skin, but he can still feel it, the intense, burning pain that had felt as if it was digging down deep into his very bones, carving out a space in the marrow and crushing the air from his lungs. He doesn’t think it’ll ever go away. His thumb traces over where it would have been, and he barely notices when the couch dips beside him, Alec taking a seat. 

His voice is gentle when he finally speaks, apologizing and asking how to fix it, and Magnus finally manages to pull his gaze away from his wrist to look up at him. There’s sadness in Alec’s eyes, an undercurrent of desperation, and Magnus knows he’s sincere. What had he said to Alec? It feels like ages ago, now. Alec will blow up the very ground he stands on to make something right. Magnus doesn’t have an answer for him, though.

He drops his eyes again, this time to the floor, turning his head away. There’s an emptiness in his chest, hollowed out from pain and the hatred he’d seen on Alec’s face when he’d still believed he was Valentine, the harsh roughness of his hands when he’d shoved and pulled at him, hands that had only ever been tender towards Magnus before. 

His world now exists in a Before and After. Magnus has survived a lot in his long life, but somehow, it all pales in comparison to this. 

Alec shifts, and then there’s the touch of callused fingertips curling loosely around his wrist, and Magnus can’t help it. He flinches away. Alec jerks his hand back, and Magnus catches a flash of hurt before Alec can hide it away. Everything’s broken, and there’s suddenly a weight on his chest, a choking feeling in his throat that Magnus refuses to allow to go any further. He will not spare any more tears. He’s the all powerful High Warlock of Brooklyn, but he certainly doesn’t feel like it in this moment. Magnus gets up from the couch, walking towards the outside terrace. He needs space before everything starts to crush in on top of him.

“Magnus..” Alec calls out from behind him, but he doesn’t stop until he’s outside in the fresh air of a balmy New York City evening. 

There’s only a moment of silence before he hears the familiar tread of Alec’s steps as he crosses the room to follow after him. He stops short, just behind Magnus, and he can feel his eyes on him, watching.

This body didn’t scream out for help, for the pain to stop, for Alec, for his mother, but his voice still feels rough and strained as if it had. 

“I kept waiting. I kept telling myself that you’d see, eventually. Any second now, you’d realize. You’d believe me.”

It takes Alec a moment, but eventually, he answers, voice heavy and thick with guilt.

“I’m so sorry. I thought – I thought it was all a trick. I should have… known. I should have trusted my instincts.”

It’s not entirely fair of Magnus to put the blame on Alec. Objectively, he knows that. Alec had to be sure. Valentine was a trickster, a master manipulator that could rival Loki himself. The Clave was involved and might not have listened to a Shadowhunter who was involved with a Downworlder, but the hurt is too fresh, too new for him to allow himself to be generous.

Another couple of steps, and Alexander is standing beside him, naked pain open on his face. 

“Can I touch you…?” he asks, hands clenched into fists at his sides, like he has to force himself to not reach out.

Magnus doesn’t answer, for a long moment, actively having to think about whether he can bare to have Alec’s hands on him, right now. He doesn’t answer for such a long time that Alec starts to take a step back, but Magnus finally gives a short nod. Alexander moves slowly, like he’s approaching a spooked animal. 

Magnus can still feel the stinging grip, the hard squeeze of Alec leaving bruises on the body of a man that wasn’t him, but right now, his touch is gentle again as his fingers close around Magnus’s arms, turning him towards him. His lips press a soft kiss into his hair before resting his forehead against his.

“I’ll fix this. I swear, I will,” he says.

Alexander will destroy the very ground he walks on to make something right. 

Magnus just doesn’t know if he can this time, and he hopes it won’t destroy them both when he tries. 

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on [tumblr](https://malecdeservesbetter.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
